A Red State Update Ad: Legalize Pot In New York State

From RSU: Empire State NORML wants marijuana to be legal in New York State so bad, they give us $120 to make this ad. http://empirestatenorml.com They accept donations! Just like we accepted their $120.



But why stop at weed jokes? Red State Update will make YOUR campaign ad... for only $120! Are you runnin' for somethin? Like a candidate? Hate a candidate? Got $120? You qualify!

Here are the rules:
ONE: $120.
TWO: We'll make a ad for or against anybody runnin for anything. Republican. Democrat. Tea Party. Any asshole. Does not matter. All that matters: $120.
THREE: You don't get no say so. No creative control. No money back. You tell us who you you want the ad to be for or against, give us $120, we'll make ye ad and put it up on the YouTube. There will probably be some cussin' in it. Please specify attack ad, but let's be honest, they pretty much all gonna be attack ads.
FOUR: We don't care who you are, but I think they's some laws that we probably shoulda looked into before we started this, so at the end of the video, it will say Paid For By YOUR NAME And It Cost Them $120.
FIVE: No matter who we make an ad on, no matter what that ad say, it is not an official endorsement by Red State Update. We only care about the $120.
So email us at redstateupdate@gmail.com, tell us who you want us to go after or backhandedly praise, we'll tell you how to get us $120. It's all about Freedom of Speech. And you can buy ours for $120.

Red State Update Will Make Your Ad video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMxZBT...

"Ride off with your debts into the sunset"

"You better top off your suntan
Otherwise your skin's gonna to turn to leather
We'll make a movie in Vietnam
Tax break said we're gonna shoot on location
The rug says made in Korea
Manufactured in a factory using cheap labor
And all over Asia
The third world's becoming a major league player

Mass production in Saigon
While auto workers laid off in Cleveland
Hot jacuzzi in Taiwan
With empty factories in Birmingham
Now it's baby boomers in Hong Kong
And cowboys in Vietnam
Making their movies

Big confusion in Hollywood
Now it's American Major League in Japan
Hamburger in China
With sushi bars in Maine and Boston
The dollar sign said expand
Now it's cowboys in Vietnam
Making their movies

Wake up in the White House
Zip up your pants and get it together
Take a look at your overseas neighbor
Look at their strange behavior
Take a look at your wigwam
Inside it says that the product is Asian
Once it was only in movies
Now it's a product invasion

Mass production in Saigon
While auto workers laid off in Cleveland
Hot jacuzzi in Taiwan
With empty factories in Birmingham
Now it's sweatshops in Hong Kong
Dressing cowboys in Vietnam
Making their movies
Let's make a movie in Vietnam

You better top up your suntan
Looks like we're in for heavy weather
Economic meltdown
Nobody said it would last forever
Let's make a movie in Baghdad
Take the culture right to the Third World
Blow up a brand new civilization
In the name of globalization

Big confusion in Hollywood
Now it's American Major League in Japan
Hamburger in China
With sushi bars in Maine and Boston
Dollar signs said expand
Now it's cowboys in Vietnam
Making their movies

Watch out!
Ride off with your debts into the sunset"
- RAYMOND DOUGLAS DAVIES

Liberals, The Early Years:

I Did Not Vote For OBAMAO

(click the photo)

Jackie and Dunlap on the World Cup

The good ol' boys at Red State Update share their views on soccer in the classic clip from 2006.

D-Day

Holy Cow! - Rizzuto Returns

No. Not that guy from The Money Store, but Conservative Punk co-founder Nick Rizzuto.
He has recently launched a new blog, Rizzuto Rants. Check it out.
Hat tip to Red Planet Cartoons for the update and the illustration.

Turn off your damn lights and celebrate global warming with Jackie & Dunlap.

pssst, it's their full album (for free).

Purchase

Al "Damn" Gore

Jackie & Dunlap are ashamed to call Al Gore a fellow Tennessean.

Warning: contains language that may not be safe for work--but that all depends on where you work.

Bob sounds-off on the Census

Not one, but two rants from Drinking With Bob concerning the upcoming U.S. Census.

"they can't even run something a simple as the freaking census, and You Want the Government in Charge of Healthcare???!!!"



"if the government would stop spending OUR MONEY on nonsense this country might have a chance at survival. sad thing is they're not even considering stopping."

Barack barely knew Obama

For Alfred

You either love or hate Al's Palace, the blog by the outspoken and abrasive Alfred.
I recently stumbled upon this "how-to" piece on starting an internet talk show.
I'm sure Al could be bigger than Rush in the world of conservative talk radio (albeit internet).

How to be an Internet Talk Show Host in under an hour! (9 Easy Steps)

1. Make sure your broadband or DSL connection is properly set up and maintaining a steady internet connection.
2. Visit www.shoutcast.com and download the Shoutcast software, including Winamp and all plug-ins, and follow the instructions to install and configure it.
3. Visit www.skype.com and download the Skype software. This is what is known as a Voice Over IP phone and is necessary if you want to take live calls during shows or wish to broadcast over another network.
4. If you wish to have more than a handful of listeners tune in to your broadcasts, you will have to pay for bandwidth. Visit http://shoutcast.serverroom.us and choose a plan that best suits you. Plans can be purchased to accommodate anywhere from 30 up to "Unlimited" listeners.
5. Hook up your PC or studio mic, any mixers you may have, and headphones.
6. Have topics ready. The great thing about Internet radio is that there are no limits to what you can say or do. While copyright guidelines do exist when it comes to playing music, FCC regulations do not pertain to the Internet. Free speech at its best!
7. If you are recording your broadcast, load up any recording software (Sound Forge, Adobe Audition, etc) and click record.
8. Load up and connect your Shoutcast software.
9. Talk
   

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Jackie and Dunlap respond to Obama's State Of the Union Address

"Scientists ain't nothin' but crooks!"

Jackie and Dunlap discuss Global Warming, Climategate ... and Humanure.

"If R.E.M. didn't want their music to be torture, they shouldn't've recorded 'Shiny Happy People'."

R.S.U. discusses music as torture, and Dunlap's "torture-jams" playlist.

Get Yer Mojo Workin'

Now available, all of Mojo Nixon's library, including his new album -- free and legal!

(via boingboing, hat tip to MC)

Mojo Nixon (born Neill Kirby McMillan, Jr., August 2, 1957 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina) is an irreverent American musician, known for playing psychobilly music.

"Can't wait for Washington to fix the economy. We must take bold action now. If I make the new album free and my entire catalog free it will stimulate the economy. It might even over-stimulate the economy. History has shown than when people listen to my music, money tends to flow to bartenders, race tracks, late night greasy spoons, bail bondsman, go kart tracks, tractor pulls, football games, peep shows and several black market vices. My music causes itches that it usually takes some money to scratch."-Mojo Nixon

A supporter of the Libertarian Party, and a member of the Church of the SubGenius, Mojo has a degree in political science and history from Miami University in Ohio. He was also the honorary captain of the United States luge team at the 1998 Winter Olympics.


Nixon has always been an ardent supporter of free file sharing of recordings in MP3 and other formats. He once publicly declared his support because he said he's "not an asshole like Metallica."[*]


.


Mojo Nixon has also been featured as a "Drunkard Of The Issue" in Modern Drunkard Magazine.

"... when I drink I wanna get drunk, man. Knee-crawlin’ drunk. That’s the whole point. Anybody who says they don’t drink to get drunk is livin’ in fantasy land."

Read the entire interview here.

+

"Are you freaking kidding me?!!! "

His rants have been featured in this blog before, but what about Bob?

Bob Thompson a.k.a. Drinking With Bob is a comic and TV personality from New York City.
Bob writes and stars in his own TV show called ‘Drinking With Bob’ on Queens Public Access and legions of loyal and devoted cult fans tune in to experience these rants.


Below is a transcript of his most recent rant about Obama's winning the Nobel Prize:

What's next? I'll tell you what's next...
Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize! Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!! Are you freaking kidding me?!!

Are we living in an alternate universe? Are we in bizarro land? Somebody pinch me cause I'm having a freaking nightmare! I know what you're all saying, Bob why are you so upset? The nobel peace prize doesn't mean anything. Al Gore won it. Jimmy Carter won it. It's useless. It's like winning a gold medal in the special olympics, nobody cares. Well you know what? I care!!

It's an insult to every living breathing person in this world that this guy gets an award for doing nothing! Absolutely nothing!! This is like giving somebody a high school diploma on their first day of kindergarten! Are you freaking kidding me?!!

What's next? Do I open the paper tomorrow? Do I turn on the news and see that Snap, Crackle and Pop were given an award for culinary excellence? Do I see that Roman Polanski was given an award for all the great work he's done with children over the years? Do I see that Cayle Anthony's mom just got awarded Mother of the Year? Or that Mary Kay Letourneau was awarded Educator of the Century? Are you freaking kidding me?!!

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize?

FOR WHAT?!!
FOR WHAT?!!!

what's next?! What's next?!! what's next?!!!
(click here to view clip)

''People drift towards liberalism at a young age, and I always hope they change when they see how the world really is.'' -Johnny Ramone

===

1948-2004

Punk rocker Johnny Ramone, AKA John Cummings, was born 61 years ago on this date.
Johnny was infamous in the punk community as being one of a few conservatives.

"Punk was never dead for Johnny Ramone, though. He remained a voice for those in the punk movement who were independent thinking conservatives, and proud of their country. He never forgot that the whole point of punk was to not walk in lockstep conformity." -Robert Jones

A long-lost interview with the punk godfather has been rescued from some pretty eaten-up magnetic tapes. Conducted in March, 2003 by Conpunk columnist Robert Jones shortly before Ramone's untimely death at the age of 55, this lost interview is now being made public.
(interview via Conservative Punk)

"If everybody that didn't have health care died... then everybody would have health care."

Dunlap's bipartisan solution to America's Health Care Crisis.

Obama has failed...

... to bring the Olympics to Chicago.

Jackie and Dunlap discuss Obama's failure to bring the 2016 Olympics to Chicago.