Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Ann-Margret Olsson celebrates her 68th birthday today.
The actress, singer and dancer was born in Örnsköldsvik, Sweden - a "small town of lumberjacks and farmers high up near the Arctic Circle".She became a naturalized citizen of the United States in 1949.

Ann-Margret met Elvis Presley on the MGM soundstage when the two filmed Viva Las Vegas (1964). They began a one-year affair that received considerable attention from the gossip columnists.Comparisons of Ann-Margret as the "female Elvis" were not confined to the publicity agencies. The two of them were truly similar in many ways--both were quiet and shy offstage and electric onstage, treasured their families and believed strongly in God, loved speed and motorcycles, could be defiant of danger, and could be self-destructive at times.

In 1963, Ann-Margret guest-starred in a popular episode of the animated TV series The Flintstones, voicing Ann-Margrock, an animated version of herself.

Throughout the 1970s, Ann-Margret balanced her live musical performances with a string of dramatic film roles that played against her glamorous image.Then came the musical Tommy in 1975, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress.

Below is a clip from Tommy in which a drunken Ann-Margret is seen rolling around in Champagne suds, baked beans, and chocolate syrup gushing from her television set.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I'd Pay To See That

... and I'm sure many other "great Americans" would, as well.

Hannity Offers To Be Waterboarded For Charity!
(1:12 into the interview)

Olberman offers $1000 for each second.

What better way to kick off the weekend than by laughing at some stereotypical partisan jokes?

These jokes come via Parcbench (where Rizzuto is currently posting).

You know how I know you’re a Democrat?
Because you don’t get the cartoons in The New Yorker but feel a tremendous social pressure to pretend that you do.

(More) You know how I know you’re a Democrat?

...and in the interest of being "fair and balanced",

You know how I know you’re a Republican?

Because you refer to listening to NPR as “monitoring enemy frequencies.”

(More) You know how I know you’re a Republican?

If anyone is confused as to which side they stand on, I had linked to this guide in a previous post.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

"When did the government get into the freaking car business?!!!"

Here goes another rant from Bob:
"General Motors is at it again. A report came out today that says General Motors spent 2.8 million dollars in order to lobby the government for more money. We already gave these people billions in the freaking bailouts. Then they take 3 million of that money and use it to ask us for more money. are you freaking kidding me?! This is like your father going bankrupt. Then taking his credit card down to the store buying a 500 dollar suit in order to go to the bank and ask for a freaking loan! Ask yourself. Why didn't GM use that 3 million to pay some of the workers they've been laying off for the last couple of months? Why didn't GM take that 3 million and invest it back into their ailing company? Do you know why GM is failing right now? NOT because of the bad economy. Because they suck! Because their management is a freaking joke! And I know what you're saying, but Bob they're an "American company". We have to help out the "American company". Thats all propaganda this "American company" nonsense. You know where GM gets a lot of their freaking parts? Mexico and Germany! You know where a lot of GM cars are assembled? Mexico and Canada! So don't give me this American company nonsense. You know what my definition of an American Company is? A company that hires American workers. Toyota has an American Company in this country and they are successful. They hire American workers. We should have taken the bailout money we gave to GM and given it to Toyota. Maybe they could haver opened up another plant and hired the workers that GM is going to have to fire in the next couple of months! But, No. We have to help GM. Do you know that the government is giving people 5000 dollars towards the purchase of a GM car? If you have an old car you can drive it into a GM dealer and THE GOVERNMENT will give you 5000 dollars towards a new GM car. Are you freaking kidding me?! Why?!! When did the government get into the freaking car business?!!! The government is also backing GM warranties. If you buy a GM car and GM goes out of business the government will honor that warranty. are you kidding me?! HOW!!! How are they going to do this? Is there a auto repair shop underneath the White House that nobody told me about? Is Barack Obama going to come out in a pair of overalls and a wrench and start fixing cars? No!! I'll tell you how the government is going to honor those warranties if GM goes out of business. they're going to take YOUR freaking tax dollars and start paying auto repair shops all over the freaking country to fix those freaking freaking cars!! That's how they're going to do it!"
(click Bob's icon for full video rant)

Some More Mallard MSM Malarchy

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Just Like Joe Biden...

...Donald Duck explains to us that it is our patriotic duty to pay higher taxes.

Right Wing Extremists- Tea Party Exposed

Hopefully, I shall get back on track with my normal bogging routine soon.In the mean time, here's a little multimedia Tea Party project from my associate N.C. (not to be confused with M.C., with whom I attended a Connecticut Tea Party on Wednesday.).

I will preface the video with N.C.'s original intro (excuse the spelling and grammatical errors, for that is not his forte) :

If you watched foxnews last night you would think a patriotic revolution had started in an attempt to save what is left of this republic.

If you watched CNN, except for one delusional report from some idiot woman who seemed to miss the whole point, you would not know there were any protests at all.

And if you watched MSNBC for some strange reason, especially that dude rachel maddow, you would think there was a klan rally happening. She thinks calling obama a marzists is racist! Really! I swear, I actually sat through her and that other dildo's show to see the real spin they accuse fox of and somehow being patriotic is racist but portraying the idiot bush as hitler and attacking white people and dangling your penis in public are admirable ways to protest. Critical Theory at it's finest....

Anyway, I decided to cast of the shackles of corporate media censorship and record audio, video and images from the local "tea party" (sorry rachel, teabagging is something you will never appreciate). I expose these racist extremists in all their white ignorant glory (please ignore the minorities in the crowd or it won't seem racist enough).

I used EVERY single picture I took. I have audio of a democrat speaking. Their were more libertarians, constitutionalists and independants than republicans from what I could gather, but the RACIST PATRIOT NAZI's did not fail to disgust me with their flags and lack of violence.

See for your self:
"I went undercover to catch the nazi obama haters in action. Waiting for them to do something white and stupid and boy I didn't have to wait long. They failed to burn or flip over any cars, no blood and not one arrest! Lame protest posers! "~N.C. (aka NoiseCollector)

Monday, April 13, 2009

It would seem that I'm not alone....

... in taking a break from my blog.Rizzuto will be taking a hiatus from updating Conservative Punk. He can be found in the meantime at http://www.Parcbench.com, which has this important Tea Party feature this morning.

Monday Morning Mallard

I know my posting has been light of late, but I've been preoccupied.
It may continue to be slow for a bit longer, as I'm heading "down South" to take care of some matters.I hope to get back on track soon, but for now please enjoy these cartoons.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Since it's just that kinda day...

... here's some acoustic Jerry Garcia.

Oregon State Prison, Salem, Or. (5-5-82)

1. Deep Elem Blues 2:30
2. Friend Of The Devil 5:45
3. Jack-A-Roe 4:39
4. Babe, It Ain’t No Lie 6:12
5. It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry 5:33
6. Run For The Roses 3:45
7. Ripple 4:20
8. I’ve Been All Around This World 4:06
9. Valerie 6:32
10. Dire Wolf 3:43
11. Rubin And Cherise 5:50

Use Firefox & DownloadHelper and you can save to disk, burn, what-have-ya.

It looks like Palm Sunday again

The river so white, the mountain so red
and with the sunshine over my head
The honky-tonks are all closed and hushed

It looks like Palm Sunday again

The sky is so green, clouds of canary
Blood moon rise like a fat ripe cherry
Sunset quiet as a benediction
One true love, the rest is fiction

If I stay longer, trouble will find me
An epitaph and a sheet to wind me
A passable day for the least of men
it must be Palm Sunday again
*Free Download

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Life oft-times imitates art.
I'm really surprised that nobody else has brought this film up yet, for the subject matter is timely and relevant.

Americathon is a 1979 comedy based on a play by Firesign Theatre alumni Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman, and features narration by George Carlin.
The premise of the film, set in a then distant future, is as follows;
The United States of America is in crisis. The oil shortage has grown to epic proportions, leading to people living in their cars and bicycling to work. Cigarettes and meat have been outlawed, gold coins are needed to operate common household appliances, and the Western White House (located in a luxury apartment in California) has been forced by economic necessity to operate round-the-clock tours for vacationing Chinese citizens. The economy is deep trouble; President Chet Roosevelt (John Ritter) has borrowed four billion dollars from Native American tennis shoe manufacturer Sam Birdwater, and he's foreclosing on the loan. When a media expert, Eric McMerkhin (Peter Riegert), is summoned for advice (since despite all hardships, Americans refuse to give up their televisions), he suggests a telethon. It's a great idea, except the President's assistant Vincent Vanderhoff (Fred Willard) is in cahoots with the United Heb-Rab Republic, a sinister coalition of Israeli and Arab nationals who want to snap up America if the debt can't be paid. He ensures that the show is stocked with endless ventriloquists and insists on Monty Rushmore (Harvey Korman), a washed-up, drug-addicted television personality as host. The star of the popular sitcom "Both Mother and Father," he is sure to self-destruct over the grueling 30-day-and-night telethon schedule. Despite terrorist attacks and the kidnapping of President Roosevelt, the patriotic spirit prevails and American citizens dig deep and pledge their gold to the cause.

Since the storyline was set 20 years into the future, several satirical forecasts were made. Surprisingly, several of them came true:

  • The People's Republic of China embracing capitalism and becoming a global economic superpower.
  • Cliques of Native Americans becoming wealthy (although in reality much of their wealth would come from the gaming industry, mostly from tribal casinos).
  • Vietnam becoming a major tourist attraction among Asia's wealthy and powerful.
  • The creation of a "Western White House" (however it would serve as a vacation home).
  • The collapse of the USSR.
  • The depletion of US crude oil production.
  • An America with a devalued dollar and heavily in debt to (foreign) lenders
The similarities to our current state are creepy.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Obama Weekly Address Translated - The Road To Serfdom

Here's B.O.'s 3/21 address.See what he's really saying.

From the folks at Conservative Punk.